Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Call me 'The Legend'
Call me 'The Legend'
Just a quick update, in a desperate attempt to keep this blog alive.
I've to study for my last paper, you know.
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By now, most of my close friends would have already known
that I've picked up a new hobby.
Yes, I've taken up an interest in skateboarding.
If you're a pussy, then this sport is not for you.
I'm sorry but the truth always hurts.
Only people with enough balls can skateboard.
So being implusive, as usual, I went to buy a skateboard.
I bought a plain deck from Miz 29 for $99.
That's because I'm a rookie.
And rookies don't need fanciful decks.
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Nope, they don't.
It has been 5 days since I've bought the skateboard.
I've been practicing hard, for almost every single day.
And if you ask me, I think I'm a natural.
No, that's no bullshit.
- I'm a 'sk8ter boi'!
I swear it's the truth.
The sad thing is, that nobody's teaching me. So I've to learn by myself.
And how do I do that?
Easy. Just keep falling, and falling, and falling, and.... until you get it.
Sounds really sadistic, but it's true.
Like they always say, "No pain, no gain."
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I had a really nasty fall a few days ago.
I was feeling high and I decided to take on highest ramp.
It's not hard to predict,
that I fell the moment I took off, and landed backwards.
I got lucky, because neither my spine nor my head took the impact.
My butt wasn't that fortunate though.
I had a few cuts on my palms,
my left elbow was bleeding and knees were swollen.
And yes, I had a big bruise on my left butt cheek.
Yes, I know what you horny, girls must be thinking.
You're hoping that I'd upload a picture of my butt cheeks, didn't you?
I'm sorry to disappoint you. I wish I could, but they're reserved.
But if this makes you girls(or guys, for some) high, here's a consolation for you.
- Bouncy bouncy, smack smack!
Yes, my butt cheeks are bouncy.
Probably bouncier than fishballs.
Ha!
Have fun with that mental image.
Anyway, back to what I was saying.
Skateboarding can fun, once you get the hang of it, that is.
That reminds me.
Some people even call me 'The Legend'.
- My hero.
Someday, I'll be Singapore's Tony Hawk.
Ha!
But seriously, I need more practice.
Okay, I know what you bastards are thinking.
You want bloopers, so you can laugh your ass off at me, don't you.
Amirul took a video of me skate-boarding 2 days ago.
Enjoy the short video clip.
Try not to fall of your chair, okay?
Edit:
I would be leaving for Kuala Lumpur tomorrow.
I'll be off on a "short" holiday.
My father has meetings to attend in Kuala Lumpur
and he has arranged for me to meet him there.
I'll do some exciting exploring while he attends some boring meeting.
I reckon, that it would be a great time to get a tan.
Will be doing some sight-seeing within and around Kuala Lumpur.
Shop in the Petronas Twin Towers, perhaps?
I just not quite sure when I'll be back though.
Pray hard, that I won't be robbed.
But then again, with a face like mine,
I think the risk of being beaten up would be much higher than getting robbed.
I'll miss Fiona.
I think I'll get her a gift.
Maybe I'll buy her a pair of flip flops.
How romantic.
Benn blogged at 11:50 PM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
The ghost wears Prada.
The ghost wears Prada.
Disclaimer:
This entry and any information within the entry,
contains sensitive information and is intended for entertainment purposes only.
If you are not an intended observer of this entry,
you must not disseminate, modify,
plagiarize or take action in reliance upon it, unless permitted by me, Benn is Mua.
None of the information provided on in this entry may be used,
reproduced in any form or by any means,
without permission from me, again.
The annual Hungry Ghost Festival is here again.
Boo.
Go ahead, groan and complain all you want.
Besides, we have every reason and right to.
Quote Wikipedia, "The Hungry Ghost Festival is a traditional Chinese festival, which is celebrated by Chinese in many countries."
Take note, that it uses the word 'traditional', and not 'modern'.
- Food!
So tell me, are we, the new generation, a bunch of "traditionally-minded" people?
To be really honest, no.
Most of us aren't.
What the hell is a Hungry Ghost Festival anyway?
It doesn't even sound interesting at all.
These days, festivals have taken on a new form, and name.
If the name appeals to the public, it gets more attention.
Here are some, that you might be familiar with.
CosFest.
FoodFest.
SingFest.
ArtFest.
WaterFest.
Get it? BreakFest, as in, breakfast?
Never mind.
So if we(the new generation) were to have it our way,
and if we were to rename the festival,
it would be simple, short and sweet.
Something like...
GhostFest.
And this, could be it's poster.
- Yes, I know I did a great job at editing that.
I say, isn't that much, much more appealing?
Well, let's just hope that our parents and grandparents hate that,
because that would mean that it's probably cool.
Next, we ask ourselves.
Why do we even practice this... festival in the first place?
Let's talk about the pros and the cons, shall we?
I'll start with the cons first, because I feel like it.
Cons
As we all know, Earth is dying.
People are suffering.
Global warming is real.
Yes, that same old, boring "save-the-Earth" crap again.
But think about it.
Think about the amount of carbon dioxiode that is being produced
when the joss sticks and 'hell money' are being burnt.
Carbon Footprint, is what I'm talking about.
Word-of-the-day
Carbon Footprint [car-burn food-print]
-noun
1. a measure of the impact human activities have on the environment, in terms of the amount of green house gases produced, measured in units of carbon dioxide.
2. the shit that we leave behind.
Sure, one family is not a problem.
But every family who practices this tradition?
Big problem.
Alright, let's move on to the next issue.
You see, the government has been really considerate and thoughtful.
The government has done a great job
to ensure racial tolerance among the different races in Singapore.
- Does this look familiar to you?
Yes, that's right.
Our government has been thoughtful enough
to deploy several of these containers around each housing estate.
Most of the people make use of the facilities that have been provided.
But there are always a few morons who just want to be special.
Tell me, how are we going to walk if the 'hell money' are sprawled all over the pavement?
Pavements are for people, like you and me, to walk on.
It is not a furnace, nor a place to start a bonfire.
Besides, burning 'hell money' on pavements should be considered as vandalism.
The black soot that has been left behind,
after all the 'hell money' has been burnt, leaves unsightly markings on the pavement.
So beware, don't burn your offerings on the pavement.
Unless you want to "offer" a fine.
Pros
Now, this festival does have an impact on our lifestyles, to a certain extent.
Kids stop pissing under those poor tress during the Hungry Ghost Festival.
Teenagers are home early, possibly even before their curfew, during the Hungry Ghost Festival.
The food industy benefits, probably because of the food people are buying to use as offerings, during the Hungry Ghost Festival.
Singapore's economy goes up, and because there's 7% GST, it goes up even higher during the Hungry Ghost Festival.
So I guessing, that the Hungry Ghost Festival isn't such a lousy festival after all.
It's just that the name is uncool.
That's all I'm saying, that's all I'm saying.
Good or bad, you decide.
Personally, I feel that it would be perfectly fine,
if these terms and conditions were met.
1) No ashes flying into my house.
2) No burning of joss sticks, candles or 'hell money' on the pavement.
3) No 'ge tai' past 10pm.
(the last time my neighbourhood has a 'ge tai', it only ended when it was past midnight.)
That's all I have to say.
Happy Hungry Ghost Festival, people.
(happy hungry ghost, just sounds wrong.)
Happy haunting!
P.S: I wonder... if we can Trick-or-Treat on Hungry Ghost Festival.
Edit:
My sincere apologies to readers who were offended after reading my entry.
As I've stated earlier, everything in this entry was intended only for entertainment purposes.
If it makes you feel any better, I think I'd be burning in hell when I die.
Peace out.
Benn blogged at 3:30 AM
Sunday, August 12, 2007
The sweet escape.
The sweet escape.
Yes, I know.
It's been almost a week since I last updated and I apologise for that.
I had to mug for 4 tests and submit a project last week,
and I have 3 exam papers to sit for, this week.
Sometimes,
I feel that lecturers exist, for the sole purpose of tormenting us.
Life in Singapore Polytechnic is a sexually transmitted disease.
Boo.
I'm actually making some(but slow) progress with Fiona.
Yes, I'm still attracted to her.
But that doesn't mean that I'm in love with her.
I mean, she's hot and... cute and... hot and is so nice to get along with.
But I really think that I shouldn't be falling for her.
At least, not yet.
But yea, we're cool.
No worries.
I'm sad.
Why?
Two words.
Gwen Stefani's concert.
Okay, that's three.
The point is, that I wanted to buy tickets to her concert really badly.
But I just couldn't find anyone to go with me.
I'm so sad.
Gwen Stefani, come back next year.
Please?
Edit:
I'll do my best to post a better, more interesting entry
in the next update, some time this week.
But no promises, okay?
Benn blogged at 8:48 PM
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Confession.
Confession.
That's it, I've done it.
I've just told Fiona that I'm feeling an attraction towards her.
Was nervous as hell, my feet was cold and sweaty.
I took a sniff and boy, it did not smell good.
Gee, and her reaction wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
I think, I should continue texting her.
Simplicity at it's best, indeed.
Benn blogged at 12:50 AM
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Benn is not a person, but rather, a religion.
Benn is not a person, but rather, a religion.
So what were you bastards up to this week?
Well for Stella, she was busy making me look like a hamster.
- I say, there's something peculiar about that nose.
While Nick was trying to make me look like Mystique.
- I'm blue daba di daba da...
That's a pretty nice one, Nick.
A big thank you to the both of you,
just remember to credit yourselves the next time, yea?
Health Update!
The Good News
My eyes are alot better now, but blood clot is still visible.
So I guess, I won't be going blind after all.
The Bad News
I'm running a high fever that has been torturing me for like, 3 days now.
And I would rather die than to see a doctor.
I have a really sore throat as well,
so I figured that the fever was probably caused by my throat infection.
Benn blogged at 4:00 PM
Thursday, August 02, 2007
My jokes are bad.
My jokes are bad.
Bad Joke #1
My visit to the doctor's yesterday was one to remember.
I stepped into the clinic and before I could say anything,
a nurse asked me, "So is this your first time?"
I almost replied, "Yes, I'm a virgin. Does that turn you on?"
Bad Joke #2
Don't worry about my eyes, people.
That's because I bought a new pair of eyeballs from The Body Shop.
Bad Joke #3
Singapore's 40th(wait, how old is Singapore again?) birthday is just around the corner.
Great, I'm looking forward to
I mean, isn't it "interesting" to see:
- soldiers standing still
- fighter jets flying past the stadium
- commandos parachuting into the stadium
- fireworks
Benn blogged at 10:50 PM
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Sore.
Sore.
WARNING: The pictures you're about to see are rather disturbing.
My left eye was hurting really badly when I woke up on Tuesday.
To my utmost horror, I realised that it hurts when I tried to open my eye.
Why?
That's because my left eye was sore and red.
- I know what you must be thinking. Yes, they are are post-it notes, no doubt about that.
No, it doesn't have anything to do with watching too much porn,
so please don't get so excited.
In fact, watching too much porn doesn't even make your eyes sore.
But playing too much DotA does.
I had a test on Tuesday,
so there was no way I was going to sit for a re-test.
So I've decided to go ahead, and take the test.
(I think, I had a perfect score. Full marks.)
But I went home, right after the test ended.
Took a long afternoon nap to rest my eyes.
However, I insisted on not going to see a doctor because that would be really troublesome.
Plus, I thought that having sore eyes isn't a really big deal.
I was expecting my eye to get better by the next morning.
And guess what?
It actually got worse.
In fact, blood was starting to clot in my left eye.
The clot was so big, that a red patch of blood formed in my eyeball.
- Yeah, I know. It's disgusting, alright.
Not only that, my right eye was also infected.
So now, both of my eyes are red and sore.
So I've decided to surrender, and pay a visit to the doctor's.
Besides, the clot was scaring the f**k out of me.
I don't want to be blind at the age of 19, you know.
Anyway, my eyes were hurting so much, I had splitting headaches during lessons.
The doctor said that it looked pretty serious, prescribed shitloads of medication,
including painkillers(God bless her soul).
She told me to take the next 2 days off and said that it might take about,
a week or so for the clot in my eye to go away.
Oh shit, I can't let Fiona see me like this on Saturday!
I'm doomed.
P.S: I just hope that my right eye will not have a blood clot as well. It sucks to be Cyclops.
Edit:
I was told, that if a person stares into the eyes of someone whose eyes are sore,
they would be infected as well.
So, I've decided to conduct a "little experiment".
Pick any picture in this entry, that has my face in it.
Stare into my eyes for about a minute or so.
Do not be smitten or charmed by my good looks, focus.
Repeat the process.
Tag me with your observations.
Benn blogged at 6:15 PM