Name: Benn Phua
Weight: 58kg
Height: 1.79m
Birthday: 9/12/1988
Expertise: Being an idiot


Likes:
- The O.C
- windsurfing
- drums
- the beach
- anything crazy
- backpacking


To-do list:
- more weight
- bigger biceps
- six-pack, again
- trip to UK, London
- contact lenses
- a new hairstyle and clothes
- a well-paid job, fast






April 2007
May 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007







Chihui
Connie
Eevin
Enqi
Gabby
Irene
Jac
Jas
Jolyn
Julien
Koi
May
Mint
Minyee
Nene
Nick
Riz
Shery
Shorty
Stella
Steph
Tze
Val
Ying Ying
Yu Wen
Zhi Lun

I often ask myself, "Am I really that physcially unattractive?"

Yes, the truth is that, I can't seem to accept myself for who I am.
People who accept themselves
for who they are so readily, will never change for the better.

That's because they don't see the need to, since they have already "accepted all their flaws".

So yes, I am ugly.
I'm unattractive and hideous.

But what hurts me the most,
is that people whom I regard as friends are the ones who are hurting my feelings.



Scenerio 1

Benn: I'll be drinking and partying like crazy, when I'm in London.

Friend: Oh?

Benn: Yeah, and I heard that the chicks there are pretty wild. Perhaps, I might even get laid.

Friend: It's not like the girls there would want to be laid by you.



Ouch.
Don't tell me it was a joke.
If it was, why wasn't I laughing?
(It wasn't even funny in the first place.)

Was it necessary to bring me down like that?

To me, it's an insult.
And it is really demoralizing, to hear the same response from so many different people.

So yes, Benn has finally admitted that he's ugly.
Yay.



Some friends.



P.S: If I do get laid when I'm in London, I insist on an apology from each and every one of you.
Benn blogged at 10:35 PM


Note: Sorry for the lack of updates, been down with flu this week. My nose's a bitch. Take care, everyone.



Oh my God, I've just found out that Fiona reads my blog every now and then.
It gets me nevous, just thinking about it.
Yikes.







Anyway, I've some good news to share.

I weighed myself today and... I've gained 1kg.
Yay!

Oh, and my mother has given me "the green light" for the UK trip.
So all I need now is... $2,000.

Early Christmas/Birthday present, anyone?

Oh f**k it, I'll just work for it.
The first semester of school is ending soon,
and that can only mean one thing... the Semestral Exams.

Fortunately, that also means that our vacation is just around the corner.
So basically, I have a month to earn $2,000.

Good luck, Benn.
You'll need it.





Anyway, Steph is such a sweetheart.
She took one of my pictures and photoshopped it.

Here, have a look.


- Is it just me, or do I look more like Wolverine than Gambit?

Don't I just look so adorable?

Many thanks to Steph, once again.
For the much appreciated time and effort she had spent, just to make me... hairy.



P.S: Feel free to photoshop any pictures of me. Just remember to credit yourself, so everyone can recognise your fruits of labour. I'd be most glad to post them up here.
Benn blogged at 6:00 PM


Here's a list of things that I'm aiming to achieve, hopefully, by the end of the year.



1) Thou shalt gain more weight

Everybody tells me that I need to gain more weight.
Well, that's what I think as well.

I'm 58kg at the moment,
trying really hard to get up to 60kg before the year ends.

Been eating alot, but so far, it doesn't seem to be working.
2kg, so near yet so far.



2) Thou shalt have sexier arms

I hate it when people tell me that I've scrawny arms.
Yes I know, the truth hurts.

And that is why, I've been working out more than usual lately.
Spartan arms, I must have.



3) Thou shalt get thy abs back

Two words, "Six-pack, again."

Okay, that's three.



4) Thou shalt work and go on a holiday

Most of you don't know this, but I'm planning for my next big holiday.
I'm considering UK, London.

I've a friend who lives there, and she has allowed me to crash at her place while I'm there.
She and her husband don't work, so they will be showing me around.
But for that to happen, I'll need at least $2,000.

Looks like I'll have to work hard, really hard.



5) Thou shalt do something about thy eyes and teeth

My eyes, I might be going for a minor operation.
That has not been confirmed so I won't say much.
But I'll be wearing contact lenses again.

As for my teeth, I'm might want to wear braces, again.
I've to beg my mother first.
(I yanked my braces out the last time I wore, because it was hurting way too much.)

Anyway, I'm also thinking of whitening my teeth, a "Hollywood smile" is what I need.
It'll cost me, but I think it's worth every cent.
I'm sure I'll look sexier, when I smile.
(I'm already sexy to begin with, anyway.)





Oh, and not to forget, I'll be changing my hairstyle and my dress sense, as well.

Why the sudden change, you ask?
Well, I've been thinking alot lately...
and I see the need to change and improve myself.

I'm a nice chap, sure.
But the truth is, I'm not charming.

Therefore, I shouldn't be satisfied with how I look now,
because I know that with a bit of determination and effort, I can look so much better.


Call me a spoilt rich kid.

A (male) bimbo.

A superfical bastard.



Whatever.
Benn blogged at 2:55 AM


That's it.
Enough is enough.

Girls, listen to me.
Yes, listen to Benn, the health & fitness guru.



Want to lose weight, and look good at the same time?

Don't bother going on a diet.
Don't bother eating weight loss pills.
These methods are f**king useless.

Yes, that's the cold, painful truth.
Right smack in your face.

Eating less doesn't make you look good, it makes you anorexic.

Eating weight loss pills doesn't make you look good, it makes you look like you're sick.



Most girls believe,
that if they avoid food that give carbohydrates, they'll lose weight.
Most girls also believe,
that if they take weight loss pills at a regular basis, they'll lose weight.

Now listen up, dumb shits.
The only reason why you're alive and reading this blog entry now,
is because of the carbohydrates.



Yes, it's true.
Eating weight loss pills, helps you to lose weight.
Going on a diet, helps you to fit into that Zara dress you've bought during the Great Singapore Sale.



But here's the catch.

Do you like flabby arms?




- Poor May, for being abused and disgraced by Xuan Hong.



Well if you don't, I'd suggest you stop eating lesser than usual.

Yes, you'll look slim.

But you wouldn't feel slim.
Do you seriously think a guy would be turned on when he touches your flabs?
Hell no.

It gives me the shivers, just thinking about it.

So you must be thinking, "Then how do I lose weight, look and feel slim, all at the same time?"



Now, I'll tell you.





Exercise.
Yes. No pain, no gain.
There is no shortcut.



Exercising helps you to lose weight, keeps you healthy and tone up those muscles.
Now please exercise, for the love of God.
Benn blogged at 5:40 PM


It's half past 5 in the morning now, but I'm still feeling rather hyped.

I've just finished watching 300, it was awesome.
What's 300 about?



Well, the story is about 300 hot, sexy, macho men with eight packs,
armed with spears and shields, roaring like gorillas.



Yes, that's what it's about.
I bet the actor who played the king must have lost his voice countless time,
from all that shouting that he was doing in the movie.
Poor king.


- I think the king could do a commerical for Strepsils.



But I've got to admit though,
I've never seen so many hot men with eight packs in a movie before.



The soldiers in the 'Lord of the Rings' were scrawny.

The soldiers in 'Troy' were too pathetic.

The soldiers in 'Star Wars' wore stupid white masks and shoots laser beams(like, what the hell?).

The soldiers in 'Narnia' were gay.

The soldiers in 'Harry Potter' were too nerdy.
(Wait, I don't think 'Harry Potter' had soldiers.)



And the Spartan breasts.
Damn, they look so firm and hard.


- Just look at the Spartan breasts and abs.

I'm so f**king envious.
I want Spartan breasts too.

Anyway, the fighting scenes were gory but that's the way we guys liked it.

I think this movie is no doubt, worth watching.



Really makes you feel like getting those Spartan breasts, eh?





Anyway, Fariz and I were on our way to Novena(don't ask why)
when our train stopped, for what seemed like 15 minutes.

Strange.



Then we saw this notice flashing when we reached Novena.

Stranger.



So I figured...

1) that another stupid Singaporean committed suicide, again.

2) an old woman's leg got caught between the doors, again.

3) some faggot pressed the emergency button, again.

4) a dumb terrorist decided to bomb the MRT station, now that's something new for a change.



My mother told me that a person was being hit by the train, hence the delay.
Ha, what a f**king noob.





Edit:
My mother told me that the person died.

Gee, can anyone tell me what really happened on that day?
Benn blogged at 5:35 AM


Everybody has been telling me,
"Benn, you have to watch 'Transformers'. The girl is really hot!"

I didn't really care because I thought that 'Transformers' was a stupid movie... until last night.
That's because I've watched it(on my computer) last night
and I have to say, the girl(Megan Fox) is an angel.

She's... perfect.
Oh my God, she's like... smoking hot!



I mean, just looking at her.
What a beauty.
Gorgeous!
(I sound like the Steve Irwin.)


- Oh my God, Fiona Xie ought to be ashamed.



I am so turned on right now.
She is a living goddess, I tell you.
(So is the cheerleader from Heroes.)



She's tanned and her figure can not get any better than this.
How I wish the girls in Singapore would aspire to look like her
and not some act-cute Taiwanese singer(Jolin Tsai, yuck).

She's definitely my new lover, at least for now.



She's godsent, no doubt about that.

I've just heard that she has already signed on for 'Transformers 2'.
So guys, I guess that's another reason(actually, it's the main reason)
for us to catch the 'Transformers 2' when it's out.





I'm just going to reach for that bottle of lubricant and...



I think I'm about to have an orgasm.
Benn blogged at 11:15 PM


Guess what?
An unexpected guest dropped by in my room last night.

Literally.



So me, being a great host, decided to imprison it in a glass container.

Looks familiar?
Yes, it's one of those huge, annoying beetles
that give out that dreadful buzzing sound when it flies.

Anyway, it made a mistake when it decided to rest on my arm.
I freaked the f**k out and screamed like a girl.

It will pay for that.


- You're the most digusting piece of crap I've ever seen.

I figured that I could do anything I want with it,
since it's my prisoner now.

So I've decided, to have a little fun with it.
It's payback time.





After the beetle was humiliated,
I then went on to conduct a few "scientific experiments".

I sprayed my Hugo Boss perfume on the beetle, once.
It died in less than 15 minutes.

How tragic.


Benn blogged at 5:20 PM


I wanted to practice my drum stick control last night.
So I took the nearest object that was within my reach, and used it as my drum pad.

Unfortunately, my tissue box wasn't lucky this time.



Says here on the tissue box, that it's "Soft and Strong".


- Soft and strong? We'll see about that.

So I figured, that using it for practice wouldn't hurt.



Now this was how it looked like, after my first song.


- Yes, I know. It's a wreck.

Then I figured, that it would be wise to stop
before I really destroy it.

Besides, I don't think that I need anymore lectures from my mother.



Strange though, I could have sworn that it said that it was "Soft and Strong".
Then I figured, that they were talking about the facial tissue and not the tissue box.

How ironic, how can the facial tissue be strong
when the box itself, isn't strong enough?

Then I figured, that maybe they were trying to say something else.
Maybe "Soft and Strong" had another meaning.
Like so.



Now I'm satisfied.





P.S: I was feeling bored, so I impaled my tissue box with my drum stick.


Benn blogged at 6:45 PM


Oh my God, I'm such an idiot!
(No, it's not about my Pokemon.)



You see, Fiona and I were texting each other last night,
and we had a pretty good time catching up.

A good conversation was something we didn't have for quite a while,
because her mother
is threatening the existence of her phone.



So anyway, she went to bed after 1 while I decided to stay up "a while longer".

I only started feeling drowsy after 4.
So, I finally decided to turn in for the night.



Then, I thought to myself, "Why don't I text Fiona a really sweet good-night message?"
Now, wouldn't that be sweet?

So I did.
And this was what I typed.



--------------------------------------------------

Friendly
Inspirational
Obliging
Nice
Amusing

See, Fiona's major okay after all!

--------------------------------------------------



And this was what I was typing.



--------------------------------------------------

Friendly
Inspirational
O
N
Amusing

--------------------------------------------------



Yes I know, I left out the 'O' and the 'N'
because I couldn't think of anything flattering
that starts with that alphabet.



But before I could finish typing the message, I fell asleep.



I woke up at 10 in the morning, with less than 6 hours of rest.
Had a strange dream,
dreamt that my pants tore when I was on my way to school, to sit for an exam.
And I ended up being late.

Note: I'm telling the truth, I did have that rather, funny dream.



When I woke up, I realised that I've screwed up, big time.
Tossing and turning in bed made me send the incomplete message to her by accident.

I've counted, and I have sent the same, incomplete message to her, 13 times.

Yes, 13 f**king times.


- This is really f**ked up.

And just when I thought the worst was over,
I realised that I've sent her a text message simliar to this one, a few weeks ago.

I know, you must be thinking, "What the f**k?"



I think, I'm losing my touch.

Then again, I think I'm just being me.
Benn blogged at 12:10 PM


It's half past 1 and I'm exhausted.
I've been trying to search for the elusive Mew the entire evening.

My efforts finally paid off when I found the legendary Pokemon,
after more than 2 hours of walking in the tall grass.



But I soon came to a realise one thing... that it was more than twice my Pokemon's level.



Most of my Pokemon were only level 19.
Oh my God.



Anyway, I'm assuming that Mew only had 3 moves.
(That's because that's all it ever uses.)

Confusion, Metronome and Transform.



So basically, Mew Confusion-ed the shit out of my first 5 Pokemon,
leaving me with my last one, Ivysaur.



To make things worse,
Mew transformed into Ivysaur, as if it was trying to taunt me.


- Notice that my Ivysaur is asleep, no thanks to Mew's(mine, actually) Sleep Powder.

It wasn't long before the fake Ivysaur killed me.





And that's how Mew raped my Pokemon.
Now, that's f**ked up.



I swear, I'll avenge my Pokemon one day.
I guess, Mew's not that cute after all.





Word-of-the-day

F**ker [f**k-ker]
-noun, slang

1. a word used to describe Mew
2. an annoying and disgusting person.
Benn blogged at 1:35 AM


What a disappointing weekend.
Utterly disappointing.



As you all know, I was supposed to be partying and hanging out at Zouk last night,
having the time of my life.

But no, I didn't.



That's because my friends stood me up at the last minute.
None of them could make it, not even one.

But me, being the nice guy that I always am, didn't make a big fuss about it.
It's no biggie.



However, I refused to be stuck at home on a Friday night.
Because Friday night marks the start of the weekend,
and staying home just goes to show how boring your life is.

Note: This doesn't apply to you if you're grounded. You're grounded because you did something wrong, you bastard.



God forbid, anyone to be home on a Friday night, be it studying or watching CSI.
It's a sin, I tell you.

Anyway, I managed to coax Mint out and suggested we go rock climbing.
So we did.





We had a great time, so that's a consolation, I guess.
Plus, I had something to look forward to.
Saturday.



That's because my friends(yes, the same group of people)
and I will be spending the day at Sentosa.

I was so excited when everyone told me that they would be there.

Then... guess what?





I got stood up, again.
What the f**k?



I don't really give a damn, if they are reasons/excuses.
I got stood up twice in two days, consecutively.

I'm such a loser.



So here I am, sitting down in front of my computer,
typing this stupid entry,
when I should be at Sentosa, getting a tan and ogling at girls in bikinis.

Note: I know, it's hard to believe that someone so gay(me, that is), is actually straight.



Sometimes, I think I'm too nice.
Bloody hell.



I'm dying of boredom and I've nothing to do.

I'm so sick of DotA.
I'm so sick of National Geographic.
I'm so sick of Spider Solitaire.
I'm so sick of porn.
(That's a really bad lie.)



So, allow me to tell you how I spent my Saturday afternoon.

This was what I was doing.



Yes, I was actually playing a f**king Pokemon game.
Well, I've started this afternoon, so keep the insults to yourself.

I've got a Mewtwo, so I guess I'm sexy.
But the question is, how do I catch Mew?


- Mew! Mew!

Doesn't that sound just makes you so... horny?





Edit:
My friends(yes, them again) told me that they'll be hanging out on Sunday night,
at 'The Mind Cafe'.
But I think it's only right that I stand them up, don't you think?
After all, I don't want a hat-trick, you know.
Benn blogged at 4:45 PM


That's strange.

I'm strange.



Seriously, I've no idea why I'm getting so excited and hyped at the fact that
I'll be clubbing at Zouk with my friends tomorrow night.



Well, if you know me well enough,
you'd know that I'm not the sort who frequent clubs on a regular basis.

In fact, I hardly do.



See? I'm a mama's boy after all.





Anyway, I think it's about time I get myself a new hairstyle?
I want something unique and refreshing.
Definitely something... that can turn heads.

But with my short hair, so I guess my options are rather limited.



This is when you faggots come in handy.
Help me decide on the hairstyle that would look really good on me.
Make yourselves useful, slaves.

Note: You can leave me a tag, or a message in MSN.



Here's a random picture of my current hairstyle.


- Don't ask me what I was doing. Love candid shots.


And here are the new hairstyles I have in mind.


- That's the Ultra Man, an uncanny resemblance indeed. Except that I'm so much sexier.


- I call that the McDonald's. You don't have to be an idiot to see why.


And if all else fails...


- I love beanies. Don't I look so cute when I wear it?



Great, now that I'm all sexy and gay,
the guys in Zouk had better watch out.

They're up against some stiff competition here.
Heh.



Damn, I hope my mother doesn't get a hold of these pictures.





I know, I've a huge pimple on my nose and my eyes are red and sore
and I'm wearing a yellow shirt.

Go ahead, laugh at me.
I'm a freak with pimples on the nose
and I watch porn every night before I go to bed
and love wearing gay shirts.

Happy now?



Word-of-the-day

Club [club]
-noun

1. vodka and more vodka.
2. a place where ugly guys get the chance to grope girls.
Benn blogged at 12:15 PM


Good news!
I think... I'm ready to start blogging again.



Good bye, emotional entries.

Hello again, crazy/wild/insane entries.

Benn is back!





For a start, I'll be going to Zouk with my clique this Friday night.
Expect pictures and more pictures.

Maybe some pussy, I don't know.

I bet Xuan Hong just wants to grab some ass.
That sick bastard.



Anyway, a very happy birthday to Yuwen.
Happy now?
Idiot.





Note: Deal or No Deal is a really, really stupid show.

Another note: Leave me a tag if you've not been linked.

One last note: The previous note is only applicable to my friends only. No morons.
Benn blogged at 8:45 PM


"When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight."

It ends tonight.

That's it, no more tears.
I'm done.



Yes, I'm feeling so much better now,
even though things didn't turn out the way I expected it to.

Oh well, I guess life's like that.
Just like a roller coaster in Six Flags.



And oh, a big thank you to all my friends who were there for me,
during my darkest hours.

Most sincere thanks to:

- Connie

- Xuan Hong

- May Ng Ze Lu

- Janice O Yang

- Nene & Mint

and... Fiona.



Who's Fiona, you may ask?

Well, we've just became friends not long ago.
And both of us, being extroverts,
hit it off pretty well and we've have been chatting alot lately.

She's a great girl, really.
Cute, with a great sense of humour.



Don't get me wrong.
She's a dear friend of mine and I enjoy her company.

But still, i do not have any romantic motives... at the moment.
Heh.





Life in school is hectic and boring, as usual.
Lectureres are morons.

They can be talking about computers, routers
and internet networks a minute,
and rant about their pathetic, miserable lives the next.



We need better lecturers, seriously.
Benn blogged at 11:00 PM